Like..........

Two repeat customers:

1. Mr. "Okay than" (Pt 1 and Pt 2) returns ONCE AGAIN on IM saying "heyyy". Like......why.

2. Mr. One long run on sentence also sent me two more messages: "you know your so beautiful to me" no response. Followed by "your so beautiful". Followed by me blocking him.

Also this gem on POF:


Hello there,

First of all, I like all your pictures ! and here is my advice, you shoud not wear black any more !! You are in the black like out of our planet . Black is definitely your color. I want to know more about you !? what do you like in the life ? and what do you most hate !? one word can descibe you ?


So....like....I should try to look bad or? Don't get it. So I uploaded this as my new profile pic (I think I look much worse in pink) and called it a day.

An argument and an update on a psychopath

Just got an IM saying "Hey" from the very important engineer. Needless to say I've learned my lesson and won't be answering.


Topic number two: an argument with a man who can spell the word "and" and writes really personalized messages.
So I wrote about this message in my huge POF update blog post, and he's back for more. With the same message. I will preface this by saying I've had several guys do this: literally the same message twice in a row over the course of a few days or weeks, like they can see that they already sent me that EXACT message in the past but do it again anyway? How is this acceptable as a way to gain a woman?

So...let me get this straight...it wasn't a copy and paste message the first time but you figured that re-sending the message to me again would get me swooning?

Did I get a little heated? Yes. Was I tempted to point out that it's "and" not "an"? Yes. I was pretty frustrated with the repeat messages I'd been getting so I took it out on this one guy, so sue me.

I think I'm gunna start fucking with guys who write me shitty messages, out of boredom and also for fun blogging purposes, on a regular basis. It's official that POF is LITERALLY ruining my life.
Now for the fun part.

;)

Yeah okay than... part 2

See here for part one!

I guess my estimate of not hearing from him for 3-4 weeks was a little off, but pretty close at around 2 weeks!!

Just got a "Hey, how's it going" on IM from him. Whyyy.

You attract more bees with honey

Got this little gem today.

He clearly put a lot of effort into his profile

Not quite sure if the grammar comment is serious or a joke...

I'm not sure if it's his well crafted yet mysterious profile, his thoughtful message or the fact that we are only a 1% match but I have a hunch that he's not the one.

;)

No need for periods

Repeat offender. See here for his original run on message about how his baby mama would give him two thumbs up.


"ok lol I know I message'd u before but it sucks cuz u are at the top of my list to message as a match and your so beautiful to me I do wish you wanted to chat lol I'm a geek I know"

;)

Insulting their way into our hearts

So this post includes an interaction between another friend of mine, who does online dating in another city and some dude, that she gave me permission to post. The green is the dude.

Telling someone to be more unique is a great way to build rapport

Story Number two comes from moi, but has a similar tone. Right off the bat I noticed kind of a pretentious tone - kind of talking about things in a braggy way but I figured it could have just been the way I was reading his messages so I kept chatting with him. The back story is that I mention my massive amount of first cousins and the fact that I'm thinking of investing in a claw grabber with various attachments such as lobster pincer, in my profile.

Dayum, watch out ladies, mareen byoligist in da house

Then he goes on to tell me he has over 100 cousins and I say "first cousins?" and he says "no, 8 first cousins". So I say "fuck you and fuck your 8 cousins, I'm out." (but not actually...I just stopped answering and then he proceeded to view my profile about 10 times over the next few days. Probably while crying.)

Persistence is key

So this guy is from Israel. Some people have listed on their profile that they are open to long-distance penpals. I have that I'm only looking for people nearby, because I'm actually looking to date. 

Hmm... okay getting a bit annoyed but fair enough

For some reason this irritated me an insane amount, like what the fuck, go away!!



Apparently the thing that people notice about him first is: "That I am so cute and sexy and fun to be with and around."

Yeah okay than...

An OkCupid Update...

The quality on this site is about 79,857 times better than POF, which is interesting because they're both free sites. I think it might be because POF is the more popular site here and also just gives one big text box to fill out as a profile whereas OkCupid profiles require a bit more work to fill out.

This site seems to attract more of an educated crowd and the messages are a bit more thought out. So the messages haven't been TOO bad. But there's always gunna be a few...



So the back story to this one is that I fully recognized this guy from previous times I had been online. He had messaged me at LEAST twice and I interacted with him a bit each time but I'm not sure if he ever pieced together that we'd already talked. I remembered that he seemed nice enough but desperate (aka I wasn't interested). So in the spirit of trying to be open-minded, I exchanged a few messages with him when he messaged me yet again this time. I quickly became uninterested.

Yea, I plan to win $1,000,000. Not really sure how I'm gunna do that yet but it's my dream

A few messages later, discussing what we're "looking for":

Refrain from making a comment about moaning. Refrain from making a comment about moaning.

And with that, our love was lost. I expect to hear from him again in 3-4 weeks.

Conversations with an important engineer/psychopath

So this is an instant messaging...I hesitate to say conversation...I had the other night on OkCupid. He was potentially on drugs and/or a serial killer.

Blue=him, pink=me.

sidenote: the "change in your income" line is him not me, but I'm too lazy to go back and change the color

What about me, what? That's not even a question.

I'm not really sure why I even kept responding but this is just further proof of why you should never attempt to be nice to anyone, ever. For the record, his profile is still the same as before, saying he's a recent grad and unemployed.

;)

Bleached mullet returns

OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHA I just found yet another message from that bleached mullet dude while going through my old instant messages. See here for the original post on that story.

Speechless.

Plenty of Fish is ruining my life.

Alrightie... it's been forever since I posted so this will probably take a few posts to update everyone on all the AMAZING messages I've received from all my future husbands out there.

Here is my future. I am the little boy in the yellow trunks.

Plenty of Fish has been a complete piece of shit so far. I signed back up (or well unhid my profile) thinking "why not, it couldn't hurt". I figured it would be mostly crappy messages but I'd met a few guys on that site in the past and if anything, it would help generate some more fucked up things to blog about. So for this post I will focus on POF which should be called plenty of fucking losers...

I've had my suspicions for awhile that roughly 89% of the people in this world do not know how to spell or use proper grammar. Some of the messages I've received so far have proved this theory and left me wondering if maybe English isn't their first language. I don't claim to be a writer but this is bad... real bad.

Cuddle up children it's story time. Some general notes about the messages.

1. One of the first things I notice is that no man enjoys sending a message longer than 4-5 words. Literally almost every message says some variation of "Hey, how's it going?". Some actually just say "hi". Some add the words beautiful/pretty/cute. I added to my profile that I won't respond to those kind of messages and do you think they stopped... NOPE. Further proof that they are clearly not even reading my profile but upon seeing titties get sent into a frenzy where they can only come up with a 5 word message. Thinking is tough.
2. Punctuation is also supa tough. One paragraph, zero periods. Pretty standard. 

So I'm not sure how much detail people want to hear but here are a couple of gems. The following have literally been copy and pasted:

• "I see u caught a black capped chickitty... can't spell btw haha. Reason why I say is because I actually caught one before too.. it just came right up and landed on my arm and stared me down for a good 30 seconds... different experience" uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum. See the picture he is referring to below. The caption on my picture says chickadee so he could have just, yano, used that spelling. Also apparently he was shaken to the core by his "different experience" with a chickadee. Sorry to hear about that?

• Backstory: I didn't answer his previous message. "no worries don t be scared i ll wait for halloween to get out of my coffin and come for a bit a vampire i m lol.Any plan for halloween by the way ?" I don't respond. A few days later "can i feed out of your hands too?" Men.

• "Hey my name is andrew would. you like to chat." No. Sometimes not enough punctuation and sometimes too much.

• "Wow, from Cape Breton? Really? You don't look like a typical Caper girl..." not sure how to take this. I ask him what a typical caper girl looks like. He never responds.

• "you are very pretty.I like your pretty eye's.  can I take you out for a beer & wings sometime. Im Clint do you text. 902-xxx-xxxx" This guy doesn't fuck around or waste time. As tempted as it was to text him after he woo'ed me so hard, I resisted. 

• Not really that funny but "Hey how was your summer?" What? Do I know you?

• "Hey how are you today I liked what I read in your profile an just wanted to know if you wanted to chat please reply" PLEASE REPLYYYYYYYYYY.

• "Hey .. You + Keiths Brewery = My Heavon. :P" Your spelling = my own personal hell

• "Hi, How are you doing? you look great  are you free to chat or go out" This man claims to be 34 on his profile. I'm fairly certain he's showing signs of osteoporosis in his photo.

;)



Out of about 50 messages that I've received so far, these are some of the only ones that say more than the "Hi what's up" thing that I talked about above. Doesn't this make you want to sign up for POF?

"More sexy women should just walk around naked"

Up to this date, I'm chatting with two guys, one whom I'm not interested in but seems nice and I'm going to work it into the convo that I'm not interested...somehow, before it goes too far. And one that I'm on the fence about, which probably means no, but I'm trying to have an open mind.

Today I finally got a message from someone who seems interesting, phew. I was beginning to get discouraged that either the online dating selection was pretty sad or that I truly am a picky bitch (see my previous post for more info on that).

But whatever, let's get to the good stuff.

So this message refers to a section in my profile where I state that, instead of buying new things, I like to thrift store shop. As a sidenote, this guys profile said he was "a really nice guy", that you should message him if you're looking for friends with benefits, that one of the things he couldn't live without is his penis (could have assumed that one, bud) and that on a typical Friday night he is usually gaming and/or watching porn...

;)

 

I debated not justifying it with an answer but then thought, what would I do if he said this to my face? Plus I figured that maybe if I reponded telling him he was a turd, that he would learn that he can't send messages like that. That even online he is accountable for what he says. One perv at a time!

Duh, everyone knows that women don't like sex. And that men can't be expected to control themselves. I'm so silly.

 

My sense of humor just isn't as highly developed as his. I guess we will never fall in love.

 



Ignoring vs. Nice Rejections

A heavy topic as a woman in the online dating world.

In previous online dating trials, I would usually just ignore any message from a guy who I didn't think I would be interested in, whether due to lack of physical attraction, something from their profile, their message to me, or a combo of all three. I wanted to avoid leading anyone on but also just didn't want to waste my time replying.

This time, at least so far... until I want to strangle anyone who says "hey cutie", I'm attempting a different approach. I will attempt to answer most messages, even if it's to say that I'm not interested (usually in different words, of course), but good luck in your search. And this is for several reasons.

I read a few random threads about messaging in the online dating world, and found a lot of guys complaining that they rarely got responses to the messages that they send to women. Some said that they would prefer to just be told that a woman wasn't interested rather than no response. So here we go.

I figure rather than treating the guy messaging me like a faceless, feelingless internet robot, I would give someone the same/similar response I would give to their face. Whether it's an interested reply, a "no thank you", or a "fuck you".

But, I must admit that my motivations aren't completely pure. Okcupid has a system where users are rated as "replies often", "replies selectively" or "replies very selectively". I am currently rated as "replies very selectively" eek, I think because of my previous activity (where I was ignoring most messages). My worry is that this could potentially stop many guys from sending me a message, thinking that there's a high chance they'll be rejected. On some of those threads I previously mentioned, some guys claimed they would view it as a challenge and send the woman a message, but most said they would assume she was picky (some even said a picky bitch) and might not even view her profile.

The system is a bit unfair considering that the majority of messages a typical woman would receive are things like "hey cutie ur hot". So if she choses not to answer them, she gets a "replies very selectively" status which could deter a guy that she would actually want to chat with from messaging her. Weh.

So we shall see how this goes and if I will stick with it, considering I'm only a few days in and already getting sick of writing "no thank you" emails.

Two days into re-activating my account

So. Here we are. Story time.

The following is an overview of the first days back at it.

• My first interaction was actually a pretty respectful one. From a man in an open-marriage looking for friends and a potential second girlfriend, if someone was into poly-relationships, which I am not. I wrote him back thanking him for his compliments (he had called me beautiful. I'll take it!) but that I didn't like to share. He wrote back again saying he completely understood and meant the compliments genuinely.                                Gotta give him props for being a decent human being. If I had a nickle for every time I rejected a guy (even in a nice manner) and had him respond with a variation of "whatever, you're ugly anyway", I would have roughly...... thirty cents.

• One message saying "hey cute girl ;) how r u:)". In his picture he is leaning up against a car. Surprisingly, didn't feel the need to respond. I won't always include details about messages like this because, if this round of online dating is similar to previous ones, I will get many like this.

 

• Another similar to above when I signed on later at night. Something along the lines of, "I see ur up late wanna chat?". Nope.

• Who needs to know how to spell or use periods? Not this next guy! I wish I had print screened this one but I deleted a bunch of messages yesterday. But luckily, I had pasted it to a friend so I have the an exact email for your viewing pleasure. So it starts of by him saying something like... "ur profile gave me the wow factor etc etc blahblah let me no if u wanna go for coffee or chat some time". I responded... "Thank you for your compliment" assuming that would signify I wasn't interested but I appreciated the compliment. After thought about being nice will be written below as a future post.
• I guess he is obvlious to subtlety though, because this was his (copy and pasted...no joke) response: "so lol is that a maybe you would like to chat lol do u like my pics I know I don't have much in my profile but this is me I work at maaco for 5-1/2 years I'm a great dad with a great son I love my job it's my career I would even do it on the side I'm very out spoken I a nice after you know me :) I did move alot so I don't have meany friends so I'm a 7to5 kind of guy and have my son as much as I can I bin single for 5months my most resont girl friend did not want a kid in her life and my babys mama did not like the little bit of weed i smoke but I put my son and bills first I'm not a bum lol and have no drama at all with babymama lol we are better now then ever she would tell you that I'm a grate guy funny how things work so now that you know a little more would you like to chat chill go for a coffee lol  kev :)
• Oh your baby mama would say you're a great guy? Well in that case! I decided not to respond, judging by the fact that it clearly wasn't going to achieve much. Which resulted in him sending two further (but much shorter) messages, basically asking me "what do u think lol :)". Which then resulted in me saying I wasn't interested.

 I wonder if he has this t-shirt?

 

 

• Probably half the emails so far are from men who don't even live in Canada. I'm not really sure why they are wasting their time or how they're finding my profile. Although some are decent messages, I tell them that I'm only interested in chatting with men who live nearby...aka at the very least, in the same country as me. Two brief stories that stood out...

1. A man from the UK who told me I had a radiant smile, asked me what kind of toothpaste I use (...k) and told me he would propose on the spot if I lived in London. I'm big in London, I swear!

 

2. A man from India with the screen name "stoneusa". His picture is a man wearing a turban and he says his name is Garry. He calls me beautiful and asks if he can write me something. Even after I say the whole "Thanks for the compliment but I'm only interested in people in my area" thang, he still asks if we can be friends. NO GARRY, GODDAMMIT.

That's it for now folk! Phew this was a long post. They will be broken up better and include more screen shots of the actual messages in the future, so it won't just be a big post of my typing haha!

The Beginning of the End

The following is one of the many reasons I decided to take a break from online dating that long, long year ago....

I had seen this guy around campus, mainly at the gym when I working. He was memorable because he had a bleached mullet and wore a neon pink hat backwards. I remembered thinking he was clearly out of touch with reality.

;)

And I was right....because then...this tempting thing happened...

At least we know he's a giver.

 

 

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I usually don't respond that rudely but everything about this was so wrong. I wonder if anyone has ever taken him up on his offer? I figured my response would be more than enough to startle off this huge-balled creature but then the self proclaimed "cute guy" came back for more.

 



 "dot dot dot" yes, clearly I'M the crazy one

My lack of response merely egged him on, apparently.

 

 

So, now you see why I came back for more.