"More sexy women should just walk around naked"

Up to this date, I'm chatting with two guys, one whom I'm not interested in but seems nice and I'm going to work it into the convo that I'm not interested...somehow, before it goes too far. And one that I'm on the fence about, which probably means no, but I'm trying to have an open mind.

Today I finally got a message from someone who seems interesting, phew. I was beginning to get discouraged that either the online dating selection was pretty sad or that I truly am a picky bitch (see my previous post for more info on that).

But whatever, let's get to the good stuff.

So this message refers to a section in my profile where I state that, instead of buying new things, I like to thrift store shop. As a sidenote, this guys profile said he was "a really nice guy", that you should message him if you're looking for friends with benefits, that one of the things he couldn't live without is his penis (could have assumed that one, bud) and that on a typical Friday night he is usually gaming and/or watching porn...

;)

 

I debated not justifying it with an answer but then thought, what would I do if he said this to my face? Plus I figured that maybe if I reponded telling him he was a turd, that he would learn that he can't send messages like that. That even online he is accountable for what he says. One perv at a time!

Duh, everyone knows that women don't like sex. And that men can't be expected to control themselves. I'm so silly.

 

My sense of humor just isn't as highly developed as his. I guess we will never fall in love.

 



Ignoring vs. Nice Rejections

A heavy topic as a woman in the online dating world.

In previous online dating trials, I would usually just ignore any message from a guy who I didn't think I would be interested in, whether due to lack of physical attraction, something from their profile, their message to me, or a combo of all three. I wanted to avoid leading anyone on but also just didn't want to waste my time replying.

This time, at least so far... until I want to strangle anyone who says "hey cutie", I'm attempting a different approach. I will attempt to answer most messages, even if it's to say that I'm not interested (usually in different words, of course), but good luck in your search. And this is for several reasons.

I read a few random threads about messaging in the online dating world, and found a lot of guys complaining that they rarely got responses to the messages that they send to women. Some said that they would prefer to just be told that a woman wasn't interested rather than no response. So here we go.

I figure rather than treating the guy messaging me like a faceless, feelingless internet robot, I would give someone the same/similar response I would give to their face. Whether it's an interested reply, a "no thank you", or a "fuck you".

But, I must admit that my motivations aren't completely pure. Okcupid has a system where users are rated as "replies often", "replies selectively" or "replies very selectively". I am currently rated as "replies very selectively" eek, I think because of my previous activity (where I was ignoring most messages). My worry is that this could potentially stop many guys from sending me a message, thinking that there's a high chance they'll be rejected. On some of those threads I previously mentioned, some guys claimed they would view it as a challenge and send the woman a message, but most said they would assume she was picky (some even said a picky bitch) and might not even view her profile.

The system is a bit unfair considering that the majority of messages a typical woman would receive are things like "hey cutie ur hot". So if she choses not to answer them, she gets a "replies very selectively" status which could deter a guy that she would actually want to chat with from messaging her. Weh.

So we shall see how this goes and if I will stick with it, considering I'm only a few days in and already getting sick of writing "no thank you" emails.

Two days into re-activating my account

So. Here we are. Story time.

The following is an overview of the first days back at it.

• My first interaction was actually a pretty respectful one. From a man in an open-marriage looking for friends and a potential second girlfriend, if someone was into poly-relationships, which I am not. I wrote him back thanking him for his compliments (he had called me beautiful. I'll take it!) but that I didn't like to share. He wrote back again saying he completely understood and meant the compliments genuinely.                                Gotta give him props for being a decent human being. If I had a nickle for every time I rejected a guy (even in a nice manner) and had him respond with a variation of "whatever, you're ugly anyway", I would have roughly...... thirty cents.

• One message saying "hey cute girl ;) how r u:)". In his picture he is leaning up against a car. Surprisingly, didn't feel the need to respond. I won't always include details about messages like this because, if this round of online dating is similar to previous ones, I will get many like this.

 

• Another similar to above when I signed on later at night. Something along the lines of, "I see ur up late wanna chat?". Nope.

• Who needs to know how to spell or use periods? Not this next guy! I wish I had print screened this one but I deleted a bunch of messages yesterday. But luckily, I had pasted it to a friend so I have the an exact email for your viewing pleasure. So it starts of by him saying something like... "ur profile gave me the wow factor etc etc blahblah let me no if u wanna go for coffee or chat some time". I responded... "Thank you for your compliment" assuming that would signify I wasn't interested but I appreciated the compliment. After thought about being nice will be written below as a future post.
• I guess he is obvlious to subtlety though, because this was his (copy and pasted...no joke) response: "so lol is that a maybe you would like to chat lol do u like my pics I know I don't have much in my profile but this is me I work at maaco for 5-1/2 years I'm a great dad with a great son I love my job it's my career I would even do it on the side I'm very out spoken I a nice after you know me :) I did move alot so I don't have meany friends so I'm a 7to5 kind of guy and have my son as much as I can I bin single for 5months my most resont girl friend did not want a kid in her life and my babys mama did not like the little bit of weed i smoke but I put my son and bills first I'm not a bum lol and have no drama at all with babymama lol we are better now then ever she would tell you that I'm a grate guy funny how things work so now that you know a little more would you like to chat chill go for a coffee lol  kev :)
• Oh your baby mama would say you're a great guy? Well in that case! I decided not to respond, judging by the fact that it clearly wasn't going to achieve much. Which resulted in him sending two further (but much shorter) messages, basically asking me "what do u think lol :)". Which then resulted in me saying I wasn't interested.

 I wonder if he has this t-shirt?

 

 

• Probably half the emails so far are from men who don't even live in Canada. I'm not really sure why they are wasting their time or how they're finding my profile. Although some are decent messages, I tell them that I'm only interested in chatting with men who live nearby...aka at the very least, in the same country as me. Two brief stories that stood out...

1. A man from the UK who told me I had a radiant smile, asked me what kind of toothpaste I use (...k) and told me he would propose on the spot if I lived in London. I'm big in London, I swear!

 

2. A man from India with the screen name "stoneusa". His picture is a man wearing a turban and he says his name is Garry. He calls me beautiful and asks if he can write me something. Even after I say the whole "Thanks for the compliment but I'm only interested in people in my area" thang, he still asks if we can be friends. NO GARRY, GODDAMMIT.

That's it for now folk! Phew this was a long post. They will be broken up better and include more screen shots of the actual messages in the future, so it won't just be a big post of my typing haha!

The Beginning of the End

The following is one of the many reasons I decided to take a break from online dating that long, long year ago....

I had seen this guy around campus, mainly at the gym when I working. He was memorable because he had a bleached mullet and wore a neon pink hat backwards. I remembered thinking he was clearly out of touch with reality.

;)

And I was right....because then...this tempting thing happened...

At least we know he's a giver.

 

 

I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I usually don't respond that rudely but everything about this was so wrong. I wonder if anyone has ever taken him up on his offer? I figured my response would be more than enough to startle off this huge-balled creature but then the self proclaimed "cute guy" came back for more.

 



 "dot dot dot" yes, clearly I'M the crazy one

My lack of response merely egged him on, apparently.

 

 

So, now you see why I came back for more.